


breakeven

by hexed_vexed



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Canon Compliant, Childhood Memories, Falling In Love, First Kiss, M/M, Rewriting scenes, Self-Indulgent, but also really not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-18 18:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18124763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hexed_vexed/pseuds/hexed_vexed
Summary: Because when a heart breaks, no, it don’t breakeven.“You know,” Rogers said softly, smirking, “if you weren’t such a wise-guy, you’d make a sweet fella.”





	breakeven

 

Sometimes, when you’ve established a name for yourself, you have to ask whether or not the history books will do your story justice. Many legends and unseen heroes have been stomped out by the world, leaving their legacies only ash. 

 _Everyone has a fire,_ his mother had said.  _Whether or not you feed it, is your choice._

His father thought differently though. Not that his opinion mattered anymore. Tony had stopped allowing himself to listen to his father’s judgements on December 16, 1991 (or, at least, that’s what he told himself). He kept his mother’s close to his heart. 

 

______

 

From then on, love came to him in flares. On occasion, he would meet a woman who he would find he couldn’t breathe without. He wanted to show her the world and what he could offer her. Make her feel special because she deserved it. There were promises and nights spent together in hotel sheets.

Eventually though, the flare would pass and his heart would stop swelling when he saw her. He would leave and avoid her at every turn, not that is was hard. She undoubtedly saw the night as an experience with a dead billionaire’s son. One that she would only remember for a few months, then move on. Nothing that he felt would matter. 

It became gospel after that. Stumbling through bars, charming a woman into a bedroom, and waking up to a hangover and a crawling bit of remorse in his throat. He always swallowed and left. 

Next, next, next.  _There should be a ticket system,_ Tony thought one night.  _The line starts here. One time only, no refunds._

 

________

 

He often ended up questioning if he was sick. Or cracked, broken in some way that couldn’t heal. As if he was missing a piece in his mind.

The media always categorized love and the feeling of it as certain actions and reactions. Like it was a science that had a formula that no one wanted to share. Maybe because the variables were too unrealistic, or perhaps out of pure greed. 

 _You’ll know,_ they all said.  _You will blush when they tell a joke, your heart will skip a few beats, and it’ll be true love. Wait._

Tony knew he was never a patient person, not when he was told to expect something specific. It was always too suspenseful and resulted in a disappointment. The media blew everything out of proportion. 

Especially when Howard Stark was deemed a near perfect human who was incapable of any form of evil. A man who made a kind father and affectionate husband. Out of proportion.

 

______

 

Not only were the Avengers an explosive mix, but with a power-hungry Asgardian mischief-maker pushing them into a corner, tension was high. Fury was breathing down their necks and Tony never liked the feeling.

It was stressful and extremely irritating, but he was managing. Bruce made the whole ordeal a bit more bearable. He understood Tony’s ramblings and could follow his quick thinking. 

It was nice to have someone like that around.

 

______

 

She’d taught him Italian, his mother. Maria Stark. The pleasant and charitable wife of Howard Stark, and the mother of Anthony Stark. If he focused for long enough, Tony could still remember her laugh. 

She only ever laughed a few times, and mostly when Tony was younger. When he’d giggle and smile, she would, too. On rare nights when he caught a decent amount of sleep, Tony would dream about her lessons. Specifically, when Maria taught him Italian.

It started as basic words and phrases. How to say “hello,” “goodbye,” and “thank you.” She then taught him how to say “I love you” to family, how to ask someone “how are you?” When she was feeling particularly whimsical, Maria taught her son romantic phrases. To use when “you find your special someone.”

Tony would laugh, and so would she. He was older now, and well on his way to dating (or that was what Maria hoped). It was a time of stress and less and less smiles. While his mother’s hopelessly romantic antics were embrassing, they still gave the two a reason to laugh and smile. 

“Listen,” his mother said quietly one night, “ _Sono_ _dipendente_ _dei_ _tuoi_ _baci_.”

She repeated the phrase a few more times, and Tony nodded. He murmured the phrase to himself under his breath, trying to make sure he pronounciation was correct. When he seemed satisfied, he echoed Maria.

” _Sono dipendente dei tuoi baci?_ What does it mean?” Tony asked carefully, knowing his mother had most likely made him say something particularly humiliating.

Maria’s lips pulled upward in a small grin as she translated the sentence for her son, “It means, ‘I am addicted to your kisses.’” 

Tony’s face was painted with horror as he listened and his mother laughed sweetly. It was the same laughter he remembers from all those years ago, the sound is carved into his memory. 

“You can say it to your wife when you are older,” she said hopefully. 

He rolled his eyes and gave his mother a small smile. Tony knew it was nonsense and that his mother was only messing with him, but the childish humor was accepted. He missed it. 

 

______ 

 

Steve Rogers - or,  _excuse Tony,_ Captain America - was shaping up to be a pain in his ass. Not only was the glorified ice cube a walking experiment of his father’s, but a constant reminder that Howard was married to his work.

And despised everything else.

The Captain walked tall and proud, which seemed characteristic of him, seeing his file. Being a soldier from the 40s and a “super-soldier” at that, Tony expected him to have at least a few ounces of self-respect. 

He didn’t seem full of himself, no, but definitely sure of what he was saying. As if he had more authority than he actually does over Tony (which is, really, close to none). 

“Hey! Are you nuts?” He says, stomping over in his patriotic tights with a scowl painted across his face.

Tony knew Rogers could very easily crush his skull if he was angry enough, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to poke the bear a little bit.  _This’ll be fun, yeah?_ He told himself, gaining a pointed look from Bruce, as if the scientist was reading his mind.

He threw the first verbal punch, ignoring Captain Cold and taking a crack at Bruce’s ability to keep the giant gamma monster in a can. The scientist gave him a cheeky smile. Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, Rogers was far from amused.

”Is everything a joke to you?” He jabbed.

 _Pretty much,_ Tony heard a voice call in response from the back of his mind. He would have laughed if the tension in the lab wasn’t so suffocating. But, because he liked to see where the conversation would eventually go, Tony decided to poke a little harder. Like he was sticking his hand in the bear’s mouth now, waiting for its jaws to clamp down.

”Funny things are,” He said.

 

______

 

He was close, not yelling, but speaking with enough sharpness that it made the hairs on the back of Tony’s neck stand. He kept his stance firm as Rogers talked down to him, going on about things he didn’t know a thing about. Picking his words carefully as to strike a nerve.

Rogers pursed his lips a bit, making them appear fuller. They were tilted in a slight smirk and his eyes darkened. He shuffled a little, not looking away from Tony. The genius starred, unmoving. He ignored the way his eyes flickered to the Captain’s lips, then to his bold blues.

They went back and forth, both blasting each other with salty remarks and venomous retorts. The situation quickly escalated, and soon Banner was gripping the sceptre in his hands, his knuckles pale. 

Mechanical beeps and chimes sounded through the room, cutting through the silence that surrounded them all. Banner looked around and placed the sceptre down, joking about the Hulk with a dark tone. 

“You located the Tesseract?” Thor asked, voice booming through the lab.

”I could get there fastest,” Tony said quickly, it much less of an offer than it was a truth.

He turned away from Rogers, who was listening to Thor grumble about the Tesseract belonging on Asgard. Taking a step towards the door, Tony felt someone grab onto his arm and pull. 

“You’re not going alone,” the Captain said sternly, meeting Tony’s eyes as he spun to look down at his forearm. 

Rogers was holding him in place with a firm grip. His gaze was hard and challenging as he starred at Tony. His eyes were a cold and metallic blue, making Tony shudder. He didn’t notice the hand slip down to his wrist.

Tony pushed at his arm coldy and spat, “You gonna stop me?” 

“Put on the suit, let’s find out,” the super-soldier repeated, sounding like a broken record now.

“I’m not afraid to hit an old man,” the genius retorted and leaned forward, making the two Avengers’ faces inches away and tension thick. 

“ _Put on the suit_ ,” Rogers growled through his grinding teeth, all subtly having left his voice.  

The beeping was still screaming through the lab, the screens were blinking red, and everything seemed to stop. As if every person on the Helicarrier was holding their breath.

”Oh my god,” Bruce mumbled, scanning the blinking computer screen. 

In the blink of an eye, Tony was slammed onto the ground. The entire ship rattled with a firey explosion and smoke poured through the room. His ears were ringing for a few moments as he pressed his hands on the ground, quickly pushing himself upwards. 

As Tony turned, he was met with Rogers’ glazed over eyes and a concerned look. All the sourness from a few moments before was gone, and replaced with urgency. 

“Put on the suit,” he suggested hastily, trying to get to his feet again.

”Yep!” Tony agreed, his voice strained as he followed the Captain in suit. 

As the genius stood up, he found himself disoriented. He clumsily fell into a wall beside him, his shoulder hitting the door frame. Rogers was obviously just as surprised by the unsteadiness, and reached for Tony’s arm. The billionaire then lunged into the hallway, pushing off of the door frame. Captain America placed a hand on Tony’s waist and held onto his back with his other. 

Once the world stopped spinning, they ran through the helicarrier, snaking past frantic crew members with sparks flying in every direction. A bright red light bathed the cold metal as Tony turned the corner, Rogers keeping close behind. 

“Engine 3,” Tony signaled farther down the hall, “I’ll meet you there.”

Rogers didn’t react right away. He stood, staring at Tony and didn’t move. The genius cocked his eyebrow and looked on at the Captain, nodding down the hall as if to convey the message that he should hurry. He still stood still, and Tony was growing annoyed.

Before he could bark out a response, the billionare felt the weight of Rogers leaning against him and the firm metal wall behind his back. Rogers’ hand had drifted up to Tony’s cheekbone, and he leaned closer to the philanthropist’s face. Tony felt chapped lips catch his in a slow and elaborate kiss. He felt the sudden urge to card his fingers through the man’s blonde hair, but his body stayed in a shocked and frozen state. Rogers nipped at Tony’s bottom lip momentarily, a grin on stealing across his cheeks. When the Captain pulled away from Tony, he seemed to be studying his face. Then, his expression darked slightly, and he seemed amused with himself.

“You know,” Rogers said softly, smirking, “if you weren’t such a wise-guy, you’d make a sweet fella.”

The soldier let his leather gloved thumb brush over Tony’s cheek slowly, then ghosted it over his bottom lip. He quickly moved away from the genius, a smirk still plastered across his face, as he scurried down the hall.

 _Sono_ _dipendente_ _dei_ _tuoi_ _baci_ , Tony heard in the back of his mind.

 

______

 

“Was he married?” Rogers’ voice echoed through the vacant detention block, filling the vast emptiness that was the cold, metallic room.

”No. There was a... cellist. I think.”  _In Maine,_ Tony thought quietly to himself.

A beat of silence passed, and the pain in Tony’s chest that had sprouted from Coulson’s death froze over. It became another part of him, of his journey and his life. An experience to learn from, he supposes. Maybe that bravery is a stupid thing, but also a gorgeous weapon?

”Look, Rogers, are we going to pretend like nothing happened?” The genius heard himself bite out into the unforgiving quiet, much harsher than he had intended. 

”It’s  _Steve-_ and no, no I wasn’t counting on it.”

Tony peered up from his shoes and looked around the room, where Ro - _Steve -_ was leaning against a thick gray pole, his arms crossed. He had seemingly changed and was now dressed in a deep, royal blue, long-sleeved top that hugged his body tightly. Steve then met Tony’s gaze, a soft and relaxed smile spreading across all of his features.

”Alright,” the billionaire said simply. 

”Is that it?” 

”Well, a man did just die, so I would think. For now, at least,” Tony was aiming for a more snarky tone, but it fell into a sad, almost longing sound.

”Are you okay?” Steve’s voice was etched with concern.

”I’ll manage, always do.” The philanthropist quirked his lips upward in a lopsided, sort-of grin. The soldier seemed to at least find it endearing, as he let his head fall to conceal his expression. Tony was confident that he was sporting a giddy smile.

”I’m here if you need anything,” Steve expressed firmly, still looking downward, seriousness radiating from the words.

”Duly noted, Steven,” Tony teased briefly, and the Captain’s head slowly lifted and met the smaller man with an unimpressed (yet careful) look.

” _Steve._ ”

”Steven sounds much cooler, you can’t deny it.”

”Whatever you say, Stark.”

”Tony,” the genius said sweetly, correcting him, “My name’s Tony.”

The next expression Steve gave Tony was one that the latter never wanted to forget. It was a wide, childish grin that one wouldn’t expect from a super-soldier. His teeth were shining a pearly white as they lit up the heavy, dark, and chilling room they were in. Tony also discovered that Steve Rogers had dimples, and defined freckles that outlined his cheeks when he smiled. 

It was the moment Tony recognized he was falling head over heels for Captain America. And he didn’t mind.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos,  
> comments,  
> bookmarks,
> 
> all appreciated.


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